Sidney.

My son is growning way too fast.

This occured to me last night while I was getting his stuff ready for his 1st soccer game today. The soccer game that I will not get to see because of work. Where is his childhood going? Why have I been so busy most of his life? I want time with him. I want things to slow down.

8 years ago God gave me this little baby boy, who wouldn't open his eyes and seemed to disagree with everyone that he had even been born yet. Looking back, I was so unready to be a mama. I was a mess. But everything started to change for me when Sidney came.

Today was Sid's 1st soccer game and I couldn't be there. Sid and Zoe's dad stayed with them at the soccer fields while I went (ran)to my car and drove (sped)to work. I left Sid sitting in the grass, with his soccer ball, water bottle and envelope with a check for pictures. So much responsibility for such a young man. He didn't look too enthused to see me leaving. Aaron went to the soccer fields and it began to rain. The game was canceled. Aaron stayed for a few minutes, but everyone was leaving in the middle of this horrid downpour. But he never found Sid.

I sat thinking about Sid last night and how he is going to be nine. And I thought that I am not ready for him to grow anymore. He needs to stay the same for a couple more years. His childhood is flying by. I mean zooming away without me. He use to crawl up in my lap and fall asleep while I sang to him. He use to tie a little blanket around his neck and play hockey with a rubber stick and puck. And now he rolls his eyes at me sometimes and doesn't take everything I say as Fact. He is so handsome. But he loathes it when I call him handsome. He wants to be called COOL. He is so smart and is learning so much in school. He's beyond just coloring, now he's building and expierementing. He breaks my heart.

This is such an eye opener that I must slow down. I have to spend time with him and not let day after day get away from me. This mama wants memories with her children, not just rushing to get out the door on time and hurried kisses goodbye. I may not be able to change the fact that he is turning nine, but I can change me. And I am gonna. For Sidney.

Frantic. Spastic. Running Ragid. Friday.

I am the only one here today at work and it has been really really busy. Air conditioners breaking, garage doors not working, people wanting to break their lease, people wanting to move in, ice cream making, faxing, phone call after phone call. Its utter mayham. Friday's are not generally like this. I've gotten so much done, though. It sure does amaze me what I can handle. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle.

I am taking a breather right now, but I can see cars pulling in, the phone calls will began here shortly, people are getting home from work. The wind is blowing really hard and it is banging the door and blowing the bushes all around.

Aaron. What can I say about the perfect man. I would probably not be as well mannered on this Freaky Friday had it not been for last night. Let me just fill you in on this perfect man I am going to marry. He came over to a sleepy eyed, pony tailed girl (yours truly) after he got out of school last night (late, poor guy). Zoe was still restless in her bed and got up to kiss him goodnight. (Alright, back to bed you!) Then we sat togehter, me and this big, burly man, on the couch watching the news and drinking a glass of wine. He wrapped his arms around me and I settled in. He strokes my hair. He rubs my feet. He kisses my forhead. He calls me angel.
Who knew watching the news together could be so romantic.

Hopelessly in love.

all that I am
all that I ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
they're all I can see......


and there goes the phones.

Blessed.

Today, as I was standing in the shower letting the water run over me and staring at this unlevel area of the bathtub where mold and mildew are growing, I decided that running a household is very similar to running a small country. There are internal wars, there are votes held almost everyday, there are crisises, there are holidays and celebrations. And I, being the president, until Aaron and I are married, and I can step down to housekeepr/treasurer (HA!) have done a pretty good job. The kids are learning, growing, thriving, human beings. I have been succesful. For this moment anyway. For this rainy Thursday morning.
So far today:

• I have done two loads of laundry
• I have made lunches and one bed
• I drank a cup of coffee
• I have gotten the kids off to school with two shoes, underwear and smiles
• I opened up the office with Carrie
• I talked to Aaron as he was running late for school and succesfully calmed his nerves

Pretty eventful morning. Gray skies. Smiling people I love. I am thankful God has blessed us. We are not the richest, prettiest, smartest people. But we are so blessed. God is Great. God is good. I am ready for the rest of my day.

And tonight I am going to tackle the mold in the tub.