It's official, I am falling apart.
I think I gained 10 pounds in the last 24 hours.
Seriously.
I woke up this morning, to a pile of flesh on my abdomen that resembled Mt Everest and immediately thought "Where did that come from?!?!" I must have said it out loud cause Aaron said "You're pregnant!" and laughed at me, rubbing my huge belly!
Of course I know I am pregnant, but seriously my belly where Aubrey lives seems to have doubled in square miles just with in the last 24 hours. What was a cute little baby bump is now much more round and global than I think I have ever seen in my life! Clothes can only hope to resemble a tent at this point!!
When I pointed out this revelation to Aaron, he quickly came back with "Honey you look beautiful!" But then when I asked "Aren't you shocked at how HUGE I am?" He couldn't lie. The words "A little bit" slipped out of his mouth and he disappeared into the shower. As I stood up, I heard actual creaking of the floor beneath me and possibly my pelvic bones. I know it is too early for her to have dropped, but I have now can only get around in a series of waddle/shuffle type movements. My hips have just about given up!
And it is not just my expansive middle that has me worried.
I am leaking. Everywhere. All the time. My nose is stuffy and like a faucet. My boobs seem to think I have had the baby already and are in overdrive. I am sweating profusely (May in Texas and we already visiting the daily 90's!!). And don't get me started on what happens if I sneeze or get to giggling about something.
I also have these ugly blotchy spots on my face that I have read will go away once the baby is born, but I am starting to think I will look like this forever.
Poor Aubrey will attend her first day of kindergarten and I will have a cane and a moo moo and enough cake style make up to cover a small circus. In fact that is what they will call me "Circus Lady!" Poor Aubrey!
This is FAR from the cute summer pregnant belly I had imagined.
We have scheduled Aubrey's delivery for July 22nd. That is a little over 8 weeks away. Let the countdown begin!
There is a possibility that I will be released from bed rest on June 2nd, when we see Dr. R. I will be SO happy if that happens. I think this restful lifestyle has defiantly contributed to my general lack luster and growth. But to be honest, if I am off bed rest, I am not sure how much I will be able to do anyway, with out getting sweaty and breathless.
I wonder if I even fit behind the steering wheel anymore.
It doesn't help that I watched the ending of Dancing with The Stars last night. As Derrick and Nicole twirled around the ballroom I looked over at Aaron and said with much confidence "After Aubrey is born, I am gonna look like that"
Aaron smiled reassuringly "I know you will, baby,"
And I will- it just might take 10 years and $10 million dollars.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Just us Girls
Zoe is home with me today.
Currently she is snuggled up asleep at the end of the couch, her long legs and feet in my lap.
And Aubrey is curled up in my belly, also snoozing, her legs and feet in my ribs- Ha Ha!!
This "older" baby girl of mine has had quite a dose of medical experiences lately. She fractured her pinky, and was casted- the cast is off now thank goodness. But then last week, she began complaining of a tightness in her chest, so my mom took her to the doctor who gave her a breathing treatment, prescribed arbutorol inhaler and ordered chest x-rays.
Are they just trying to see how much medical attention one family can take? Sid thinks we may be on a hidden camera show!!
Her x-rays came back normal, so they are calling her "condition" reactive lung, and according to Dr. F and nurse, that is when the lungs restrict after exercises or allergies, not allowing enough are to go to and fro.
So, the inhaler will go with her to school daily and home each evening.
Today however, her problem appears to be a stomach virus. She woke me up last night/early this morning, with inconsolable stomach pain. It was obviously real to me, as the normal "cuddling" and "tickling her back" were not only not wanted, she refused to let me touch her. I tried to trouble shoot weather or not the pain was crampy or vomity. Still not much you can do for either other than wait it out.
She throbbed around in pain for about 45 minutes, ate a banana, sucked on some ice chips, cried, curled up straightened out, nothing was working. So she took a warm bath and was able to fall back asleep.
She is so peacefully asleep right now, and I am so thankful the pain has seemed to stop.
Nothing hurts worse than your child being in pain. Except maybe when they are really really sad- that hurts too!
On a different note, I had my check up with Dr. K yesterday. Pretty routine visit. They drew blood, check my cervix (snug as a bug), did some external belly measurements, listened to Aubrey's race horse heart beat, and ( drum roll here) scheduled her induction!!
Aubrey should meet the world July 22nd!! It is an amazing feeling knowing when I will be in the hospital giving birth to this sweet girl!
My mind is racing with all the different variables. Will she be head down, will I be able to deliver her the way I want to (NOT C-section), will my body respond well to the pitocin? One thing Aaron and I talked about was, the way this pregnancy has gone so far- expect the unexpected!
Knowing God is in control is a great comfort! This is all part of his plan! And I feel at peace knowing he chose us for all of this.
Another thing my mind is racing with is getting a bag ready for the hospital. I am not even going to go sporadically into labor and yet I still want the comfort of that emergency bag by the door. And of all things I want in that bag, are baby mittens!! I demanded Aaron got to the store and purchase baby mittens immediately, but he is so much calmer and cooler than me.
He knows there is time!
Until then, I will just slow down and cherish these peaceful moments with my girls :)
Currently she is snuggled up asleep at the end of the couch, her long legs and feet in my lap.
And Aubrey is curled up in my belly, also snoozing, her legs and feet in my ribs- Ha Ha!!
This "older" baby girl of mine has had quite a dose of medical experiences lately. She fractured her pinky, and was casted- the cast is off now thank goodness. But then last week, she began complaining of a tightness in her chest, so my mom took her to the doctor who gave her a breathing treatment, prescribed arbutorol inhaler and ordered chest x-rays.
Are they just trying to see how much medical attention one family can take? Sid thinks we may be on a hidden camera show!!
Her x-rays came back normal, so they are calling her "condition" reactive lung, and according to Dr. F and nurse, that is when the lungs restrict after exercises or allergies, not allowing enough are to go to and fro.
So, the inhaler will go with her to school daily and home each evening.
Today however, her problem appears to be a stomach virus. She woke me up last night/early this morning, with inconsolable stomach pain. It was obviously real to me, as the normal "cuddling" and "tickling her back" were not only not wanted, she refused to let me touch her. I tried to trouble shoot weather or not the pain was crampy or vomity. Still not much you can do for either other than wait it out.
She throbbed around in pain for about 45 minutes, ate a banana, sucked on some ice chips, cried, curled up straightened out, nothing was working. So she took a warm bath and was able to fall back asleep.
She is so peacefully asleep right now, and I am so thankful the pain has seemed to stop.
Nothing hurts worse than your child being in pain. Except maybe when they are really really sad- that hurts too!
On a different note, I had my check up with Dr. K yesterday. Pretty routine visit. They drew blood, check my cervix (snug as a bug), did some external belly measurements, listened to Aubrey's race horse heart beat, and ( drum roll here) scheduled her induction!!
Aubrey should meet the world July 22nd!! It is an amazing feeling knowing when I will be in the hospital giving birth to this sweet girl!
My mind is racing with all the different variables. Will she be head down, will I be able to deliver her the way I want to (NOT C-section), will my body respond well to the pitocin? One thing Aaron and I talked about was, the way this pregnancy has gone so far- expect the unexpected!
Knowing God is in control is a great comfort! This is all part of his plan! And I feel at peace knowing he chose us for all of this.
Another thing my mind is racing with is getting a bag ready for the hospital. I am not even going to go sporadically into labor and yet I still want the comfort of that emergency bag by the door. And of all things I want in that bag, are baby mittens!! I demanded Aaron got to the store and purchase baby mittens immediately, but he is so much calmer and cooler than me.
He knows there is time!
Until then, I will just slow down and cherish these peaceful moments with my girls :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Days Go By
These days that I have been on bed rest have been filled with so much love, sometimes I feel like it is keeping me a float. The kids love seeing me at home, and they love the baby already. Sid often asks how she is doing, and last night Zoe kissed my belly. I think about how neat it must be, to see me singing a song to my belly, and talking lovingly about our newest little girl. It gives them a window into the past of how much I loved them too before they were even here.
And Aaron is forever doting- I carry such precious cargo for him; his heart and his sweet little baby. The awe that he has about this baby is exhilarating for me, in otherwise monotonous days. I feel like I am on new territory right there with him, and in a lot of ways I am. This pregnancy has had a lot of firsts for both of us.
Where would I be with out the friends and family that I have stepped up to take care of me these last few weeks. It is amazing the sweetness and Godliness that comes right out of the wood work when you are down and out. Tons of friends have shown up with dinners and words of encouragement. My mom has been here happily, making my lunch, cheerfully refiling my water glass, doing our laundry, washing our dishes. And dad has taken Bailey on walks and brought lunch several times. Aaron's mom has made us dinners and visited with me tons- it is so amazing to have such supportive family. And such great food!
Speaking of great food, my friend Lacey is coming over tonight with her girls and making me dinner!! Fried chicken, mash potatoes, and corn!! I am thankful you can't see my right now, cause I just started drooling all over the keyboard- eww! I haven't seen her since I was still in my 1st trimester- I am super excited!
My sweet family continue to be my daily inspiration- they make all of this ok, the shots, the bed rest. The days go by with a silver lining because of them. All 4 of them. I hope they know that when I sing, I am singing to them too. "I loved you the first time I saw you, and I always, always love you...."
And Aaron is forever doting- I carry such precious cargo for him; his heart and his sweet little baby. The awe that he has about this baby is exhilarating for me, in otherwise monotonous days. I feel like I am on new territory right there with him, and in a lot of ways I am. This pregnancy has had a lot of firsts for both of us.
Where would I be with out the friends and family that I have stepped up to take care of me these last few weeks. It is amazing the sweetness and Godliness that comes right out of the wood work when you are down and out. Tons of friends have shown up with dinners and words of encouragement. My mom has been here happily, making my lunch, cheerfully refiling my water glass, doing our laundry, washing our dishes. And dad has taken Bailey on walks and brought lunch several times. Aaron's mom has made us dinners and visited with me tons- it is so amazing to have such supportive family. And such great food!
Speaking of great food, my friend Lacey is coming over tonight with her girls and making me dinner!! Fried chicken, mash potatoes, and corn!! I am thankful you can't see my right now, cause I just started drooling all over the keyboard- eww! I haven't seen her since I was still in my 1st trimester- I am super excited!
My sweet family continue to be my daily inspiration- they make all of this ok, the shots, the bed rest. The days go by with a silver lining because of them. All 4 of them. I hope they know that when I sing, I am singing to them too. "I loved you the first time I saw you, and I always, always love you...."
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Bed Rest Day 19: The Room Project
Let me start this post with telling everyone that the cast did come off!! I guess mom was really scary and she laid down the law with that Dr. Q (Or, the x-ray showed all was well and it was just time) Zoe is like a pet rabbit out of her cage for the first time!! She still needed help with some things last night cause she is "not use to it yet" and this mama doesn't mind :)
Anyways....Sitting in my living room and bedroom all day, I have come to realize how bleak these rooms are. I am not very good at decorating at all- store displays have always baffled me. I have even seen pictures in magazines and pottery barn catalogs and I can't ever quite recreate what I see.
I'll tell you why, its cause I am scared! I am scared of wall color, I am scared of change, I am scared I will choose a style or theme for a room and change my mind in a weeks time. I need a look that is timeless.
Maybe I just have bad taste. If I was being honest, the style that I think I like is a cross between farmhouse cottage and seaside bungalow. Neither of which is a very good representation of where I live (small, older suburb in Texas) There are a ton of little projects that my living room could use- to really make it spring to life! The first of which would be new paint and floors. The floors thing is probably not an option right now- but the paint is defiantly doable.....When Aaron has time......
When I think of my farmhouse beach side fantasy home, I see clean lines (I watch too much HGTV), subtle colors (I love blue- every room would be blue if I had my way) white walls, lots of natural light, simple accessories that give that beach side farmhouse feel. I love simple country. I think these pictures represent what I like.
Looking at the pictures above, I am inspired to do something rather than nothing!!
Lofty goals for someone who can't leave the couch or bedroom! I could always order my new living room online.... I'll let you know what I find!
Anyways....Sitting in my living room and bedroom all day, I have come to realize how bleak these rooms are. I am not very good at decorating at all- store displays have always baffled me. I have even seen pictures in magazines and pottery barn catalogs and I can't ever quite recreate what I see.
I'll tell you why, its cause I am scared! I am scared of wall color, I am scared of change, I am scared I will choose a style or theme for a room and change my mind in a weeks time. I need a look that is timeless.
Maybe I just have bad taste. If I was being honest, the style that I think I like is a cross between farmhouse cottage and seaside bungalow. Neither of which is a very good representation of where I live (small, older suburb in Texas) There are a ton of little projects that my living room could use- to really make it spring to life! The first of which would be new paint and floors. The floors thing is probably not an option right now- but the paint is defiantly doable.....When Aaron has time......
When I think of my farmhouse beach side fantasy home, I see clean lines (I watch too much HGTV), subtle colors (I love blue- every room would be blue if I had my way) white walls, lots of natural light, simple accessories that give that beach side farmhouse feel. I love simple country. I think these pictures represent what I like.
I should probably look at the color scheme that I already have going in this room to see where I should start. Couches: Dark Brown, In Tables and Coffee Table: Dark Brown, Piano: Brown, Mantel over Fireplace: Brown. Two mix matched lamps: one silver with white glass, and the other, brown and gold buffet style lamp. Throw Pillows: brown gold and blue- AHHHH! Finally a color. On a pillow. My over use of the color brown screams one thing.. SCARED!
My instinct is to go with a taupe or latte type brown for the walls- which would be fine, if I would just add color in other areas. Wall Art, Candles, Maybe a Vase............
Looking at the pictures above, I am inspired to do something rather than nothing!!
Lofty goals for someone who can't leave the couch or bedroom! I could always order my new living room online.... I'll let you know what I find!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Cast Away
Today is a big day at our house!
Zoe may be getting her cast off this morning.
Her and my mother are on there way to Varsity Orthopedics now, to see Dr. Q.
I, however, am there in spirit only. Yesterday's appointment with Dr. K confirmed what Aaron already knew- bed rest shall continue. It really feels like it will never end- and the things I will miss seem to loom bigger and larger in the near future.
But enough of that for now, the subject of today is the cast.
She should get her cast off and another x-ray to confirm all is healed (please Lord!). Then she will be "free" from the ball and chain of having an appendage bound. I know her mind is very busy thinking of all the things she will do once that cast off- I guarantee you a left arm will have never been more used.
The alternative to her cast coming off, is the x-ray showing that all is not healed and then my mother (through my psychic communication) will fight them tooth and nail to not have another cast reapplied. but something more along the lines of a splint or a Popsicle stick with tape! ANYTHING but the cast.
If they are able to resist my mother's persuasive arguments and they insist on re casting, then we may just have to do the water proof cast (to the tune of $200, since insurance doesn't recognize the water proof cast as a necessity)(obviously the insurance company has never tried to bathe a pre teen daughter with a bagged arm, while on bed rest) (Did I mention this daughter is crazy habitual about having her hair shampooed and conditioned thoroughly every night). So hopefully the water proof cast would take care of us having to hover over the grooming of one particular 11 year old.
So that is where my mind is this morning.
On another note, Aaron is in his last week of school. He left the house this morning before the roosters were up, after studying well past midnight for a Math test he has today (I am sure the subject matter is more complex than just "math", but when an overly sensitive pre occupied wife asks you what your test is going to be on, I guess it is simpler to smile and say "math" and not "vertex formulas and telescoping compounds"). So, my prayers are with him. Aaron continues to be stoic, and I am never certain if her is nervous before his exams or not. I am sure he will do fine!
But I do know that the light is at the end of the tunnel!! Last day of school for him is Thursday, and graduation Saturday!! The pride I feel for Aaron is thought the roof! I have such reverence for his ability to do it all- especially the way this last month has gone with him playing not only role of student, intern and supportive husband, but also, full time parent, housekeeper and all the other general "mom" duties.
So he too is near being free from a type of cast- no more school, no more books, no more test!!
....Until graduate school starts this summer :) But that is another story!
Zoe may be getting her cast off this morning.
Her and my mother are on there way to Varsity Orthopedics now, to see Dr. Q.
I, however, am there in spirit only. Yesterday's appointment with Dr. K confirmed what Aaron already knew- bed rest shall continue. It really feels like it will never end- and the things I will miss seem to loom bigger and larger in the near future.
But enough of that for now, the subject of today is the cast.
She should get her cast off and another x-ray to confirm all is healed (please Lord!). Then she will be "free" from the ball and chain of having an appendage bound. I know her mind is very busy thinking of all the things she will do once that cast off- I guarantee you a left arm will have never been more used.
The alternative to her cast coming off, is the x-ray showing that all is not healed and then my mother (through my psychic communication) will fight them tooth and nail to not have another cast reapplied. but something more along the lines of a splint or a Popsicle stick with tape! ANYTHING but the cast.
If they are able to resist my mother's persuasive arguments and they insist on re casting, then we may just have to do the water proof cast (to the tune of $200, since insurance doesn't recognize the water proof cast as a necessity)(obviously the insurance company has never tried to bathe a pre teen daughter with a bagged arm, while on bed rest) (Did I mention this daughter is crazy habitual about having her hair shampooed and conditioned thoroughly every night). So hopefully the water proof cast would take care of us having to hover over the grooming of one particular 11 year old.
So that is where my mind is this morning.
On another note, Aaron is in his last week of school. He left the house this morning before the roosters were up, after studying well past midnight for a Math test he has today (I am sure the subject matter is more complex than just "math", but when an overly sensitive pre occupied wife asks you what your test is going to be on, I guess it is simpler to smile and say "math" and not "vertex formulas and telescoping compounds"). So, my prayers are with him. Aaron continues to be stoic, and I am never certain if her is nervous before his exams or not. I am sure he will do fine!
But I do know that the light is at the end of the tunnel!! Last day of school for him is Thursday, and graduation Saturday!! The pride I feel for Aaron is thought the roof! I have such reverence for his ability to do it all- especially the way this last month has gone with him playing not only role of student, intern and supportive husband, but also, full time parent, housekeeper and all the other general "mom" duties.
So he too is near being free from a type of cast- no more school, no more books, no more test!!
....Until graduate school starts this summer :) But that is another story!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Monday, Monday.....
Monday we went to see Dr. R who is a perinatologist (high risk pregnancy obstetrician). Aaron took the day off to go with me. Mom went too, cause lately, I need more ears hearing the medical advice I am getting. I tend to get hung up one word or phrase, and miss the bigger picture. Probably part of my ADD.
Dr. R is an incredibly bright, gentle woman, who handled my care with so much precision. It was wonderful to receive such wonderful medical advice. I really really like her. I think she could read the anxiety on my face and immediatley began to explain everything very thoroughly.
I have administered the shot myself, Tuesday and Wednesday night, and to be fair, things didn't go that bad. Aaron of course was by my side both times walking me through and holding my hand when I need it most. Once again, is strength is overwhelming. I am so afraid that he might crumble one day under the weight if all this stress.
I am not experiencing any side effects, though I do have slight head aches that make me a little worried, since that is not one of the side effects listed. But that could also come from hours and hours of inactivity, and not a lot of sleep at night and too many hours of TV.
I did sleep amazingly well last night, so maybe that will take care of the headaches. We'll have to see.
I meet with Dr. K on Monday, for my regular check up, at that time my bed rest will be re evaluated. I am hopeful that I will be off bed rest, Aaron however is not optimistic about this. He thinks bed rest will for sure continue given my diagnosis and the high risk pregnancy tag that is on every Dr's chart I have across Tarrant County.
I am resolved to stay positive and put all of my fears and trust in the Lord.
My "Daily Verse" email Wednesday morning read "The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed." Psalm 28:8
My really sweet friend Kelly brought me dinner Tuesday night and told me that she has known three people that were on Lovenox the entire pregnancy, and that the babies were born healthy and the moms are healthy too. Kelly was more of a blessing to me than she can even imagine. The relief I felt was overwhelming and I am certain God's hand was at work, having her bring me dinner and deliver such kind words.
I thank God every time I feel this sweet angel kick.
I kiss my kids every chance I get and feel them up with knowledge for the future and tell them how bright and amazing they are.
And I kiss Aaron a little longer and put myself in his arms, every time he is still.
I know all of us will pull through this just fine. More than fine- AMAZING! And stronger and closer.
And for that we are so grateful.
Dr. R is an incredibly bright, gentle woman, who handled my care with so much precision. It was wonderful to receive such wonderful medical advice. I really really like her. I think she could read the anxiety on my face and immediatley began to explain everything very thoroughly.
Following a very extensive ultrasound (we saw every angle of our sweet tender baby girl- we even got some 3d images that I will post as soon as I learn how) (She looks a lot like Aaron and is SO SO beautiful- not surprised)she talked with us in detail about the findings and what can be done.
I currently have two bleeds between my placenta and uterus. We know by now that these clots can cause serious problems. Since thrombolphilla is a disorder that promotes blood clotting, they have prescribed me a blood thinner for me called Lovenox. This will more than likely not take care of the current clots (though it may) but even more important it will prevent more clots from forming.
I got tense as the discussion turned to the Lovenox shots are given. They are injectible in the stomach only (a very very wrong feeling, when you spend this whole time protecting your belly when you are pregnant). I will be taking these shots daily between now and when the baby comes, and for 6 weeks post partum.
Also, we found out that a common practice with this medication it to schedule the babies delivery at 37 to 38 weeks, so that I can be off the blood thinner 24-48 hours before then. Induction could mean regular delivery or it could mean a c-section.
I was really scared upon the diagnosis and recommended treatment. To be honest, the whole thing is just very foreign to me. I had so much anxiety sleep was out the window Monday and Tuesday night and they were replaced with long talks with God and lots of pondering of what the future holds.I have administered the shot myself, Tuesday and Wednesday night, and to be fair, things didn't go that bad. Aaron of course was by my side both times walking me through and holding my hand when I need it most. Once again, is strength is overwhelming. I am so afraid that he might crumble one day under the weight if all this stress.
I am not experiencing any side effects, though I do have slight head aches that make me a little worried, since that is not one of the side effects listed. But that could also come from hours and hours of inactivity, and not a lot of sleep at night and too many hours of TV.
I did sleep amazingly well last night, so maybe that will take care of the headaches. We'll have to see.
I meet with Dr. K on Monday, for my regular check up, at that time my bed rest will be re evaluated. I am hopeful that I will be off bed rest, Aaron however is not optimistic about this. He thinks bed rest will for sure continue given my diagnosis and the high risk pregnancy tag that is on every Dr's chart I have across Tarrant County.
I am resolved to stay positive and put all of my fears and trust in the Lord.
My "Daily Verse" email Wednesday morning read "The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed." Psalm 28:8
My really sweet friend Kelly brought me dinner Tuesday night and told me that she has known three people that were on Lovenox the entire pregnancy, and that the babies were born healthy and the moms are healthy too. Kelly was more of a blessing to me than she can even imagine. The relief I felt was overwhelming and I am certain God's hand was at work, having her bring me dinner and deliver such kind words.
I thank God every time I feel this sweet angel kick.
I kiss my kids every chance I get and feel them up with knowledge for the future and tell them how bright and amazing they are.
And I kiss Aaron a little longer and put myself in his arms, every time he is still.
I know all of us will pull through this just fine. More than fine- AMAZING! And stronger and closer.
And for that we are so grateful.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Conversations WIth Angels
And the story goes: "Two angles left for school this morning, and they took my heart with them."
I have really sweet kids.
They are brilliant and kind. If I do say so myself!
And not just cause they are mine- anyone would say this about them.
Since I have been on bed rest, our normal routine has changed. Pretty much everything I did for them is now done by someone else- I think they are realizing exactly how much I use to do.
I don't make their school lunches, or breakfast or dinner. I don't drive them to school. I don't make sure their favorite clothes are clean, I don't tidy thier room and turn down the beds while they shower. We don't go for walks around the block, I don't pick them up from mom's.
And they have totally stepped in to help while mama's been down.
Yesterday they put away laundry.
Sunday they helped Aaron plant trees in the backyard. (and named them "Dog" and "Sweetie Pie Cookie")
They help with dinner and the dishes.
They surprise me everyday and I miss them when they are not here.
And I marvel, as I think about how God trusted me with these two little angels. He gave them to me, when I didn't even know how to make anything for dinner but hamburger helper and ramen noodles. He trusted me to keep them alive and nourish them and teach them about Him. He lent me two angels, to raise and love, and eventually return to him. I still can't believe it! He gave me the best angels in the world, when I was so undeserving.
Isn't that what we call grace? When we get so much more than we desrve?
And I am so down on my knees grateful. I don't take one moment with them for granted. The thought of being with out them is too much to bare.
This past weekend Kyle (my brother in law) and Brigitte (my future sister in law) came over. Brigitte is one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and she has a contagious smile and an infectious laugh! You can see God shine in her playful spirit!
Anyways, she surprised me with the most beautiful neacklace that has 4 charms on it- one of each of my babies birthstones and a cross. I have worn it daily since and it feels so good having something on that keep them close to my heart and always on my mind.
Someone long ago said to me, about raising children, "Love them like they could die tomorow, teach them like you could die tomorow."
By giving these children to me, God has taught me all about true love, and self sacrifice, and disicpline and what it means to want more for someone else than what you want for yourself. And doing whatever it takes to make sure you are there one more day.
When God gave them to me, he saw the bigger picture, he saw things I didn't see yet.
He continues to give me grace- I am so thankful to have my children and talk with these angels that God has lent me for a while :)
I have really sweet kids.
They are brilliant and kind. If I do say so myself!
And not just cause they are mine- anyone would say this about them.
Since I have been on bed rest, our normal routine has changed. Pretty much everything I did for them is now done by someone else- I think they are realizing exactly how much I use to do.
I don't make their school lunches, or breakfast or dinner. I don't drive them to school. I don't make sure their favorite clothes are clean, I don't tidy thier room and turn down the beds while they shower. We don't go for walks around the block, I don't pick them up from mom's.
And they have totally stepped in to help while mama's been down.
Yesterday they put away laundry.
Sunday they helped Aaron plant trees in the backyard. (and named them "Dog" and "Sweetie Pie Cookie")
They help with dinner and the dishes.
They surprise me everyday and I miss them when they are not here.
And I marvel, as I think about how God trusted me with these two little angels. He gave them to me, when I didn't even know how to make anything for dinner but hamburger helper and ramen noodles. He trusted me to keep them alive and nourish them and teach them about Him. He lent me two angels, to raise and love, and eventually return to him. I still can't believe it! He gave me the best angels in the world, when I was so undeserving.
Isn't that what we call grace? When we get so much more than we desrve?
And I am so down on my knees grateful. I don't take one moment with them for granted. The thought of being with out them is too much to bare.
This past weekend Kyle (my brother in law) and Brigitte (my future sister in law) came over. Brigitte is one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and she has a contagious smile and an infectious laugh! You can see God shine in her playful spirit!
Anyways, she surprised me with the most beautiful neacklace that has 4 charms on it- one of each of my babies birthstones and a cross. I have worn it daily since and it feels so good having something on that keep them close to my heart and always on my mind.
Someone long ago said to me, about raising children, "Love them like they could die tomorow, teach them like you could die tomorow."
By giving these children to me, God has taught me all about true love, and self sacrifice, and disicpline and what it means to want more for someone else than what you want for yourself. And doing whatever it takes to make sure you are there one more day.
When God gave them to me, he saw the bigger picture, he saw things I didn't see yet.
He continues to give me grace- I am so thankful to have my children and talk with these angels that God has lent me for a while :)
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Visions of Summer
One thing is certain.
If I ever get OFF bed rest, you will be find me in the swimming pool this summer.
I think when mama's realize that they are going to have a summer baby they instantly think of all those celebrities that have been caught by the paparazzi at the beach in there 2 piece swimsuits, all tan with those long, long legs. They make pregnancy look like a cute fashion accessory.
I on the other hand do not have long legs, or a tan. But I do have dreams. And one of those dreams is to be submerged in nice cool water this July. Again, if I am off bed rest by then.
And since I have TIME on my hands at the moment, I thought I would research cute maternity Swimsuits online. I am not sure if I can through with buying one online. Who knows if it will fit and support where I need support?
On the other hand I don't think physically standing under the harsh florescent lights of a changing room at the mall is going to make me feel any better about my purchase.
My instinct is to buy a solid color suit- I think patterns will make me look more spread out. (and my girlfriend Lacey advised me NOT to buy red- for fear I will look like Mr Koolaid- thanks for the tip Lacey!)
Here is what I have found so far:
I think this one is a good length, cause my butt isn't really showable at the moment. The halter gives me the impression tha it has good support, but some halter are saggy.
I really like the aqua colored one, but these girls don't even really look pregnant. And I am not sure there is enough bra support. I do like the chocolate bow though.
I will more than likely not be wearing the cowboy hat. And again, is she even pregnant?
If I ever get OFF bed rest, you will be find me in the swimming pool this summer.
I think when mama's realize that they are going to have a summer baby they instantly think of all those celebrities that have been caught by the paparazzi at the beach in there 2 piece swimsuits, all tan with those long, long legs. They make pregnancy look like a cute fashion accessory.
I on the other hand do not have long legs, or a tan. But I do have dreams. And one of those dreams is to be submerged in nice cool water this July. Again, if I am off bed rest by then.
And since I have TIME on my hands at the moment, I thought I would research cute maternity Swimsuits online. I am not sure if I can through with buying one online. Who knows if it will fit and support where I need support?
On the other hand I don't think physically standing under the harsh florescent lights of a changing room at the mall is going to make me feel any better about my purchase.
My instinct is to buy a solid color suit- I think patterns will make me look more spread out. (and my girlfriend Lacey advised me NOT to buy red- for fear I will look like Mr Koolaid- thanks for the tip Lacey!)
Here is what I have found so far:
I think this one is a good length, cause my butt isn't really showable at the moment. The halter gives me the impression tha it has good support, but some halter are saggy.
I really like the aqua colored one, but these girls don't even really look pregnant. And I am not sure there is enough bra support. I do like the chocolate bow though.
I will more than likely not be wearing the cowboy hat. And again, is she even pregnant?This one might get mistaken for a nightie.... but I like the length.
Hmmm.
Let me know ladies, what you wore for a maternity suit in the Texas summer heat, and feel free to vote on which suit you like in the comments sections.
Let me know ladies, what you wore for a maternity suit in the Texas summer heat, and feel free to vote on which suit you like in the comments sections.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Bloodwork Results
I have two blood deficiencies that are both found within a disorder called Thrombophilia.
Basically I cannot absorb folic acid which helps prevent blood clotting, and the other deficiency causes blood clotting.
While all of that sounds scary on the surface, it sounds like things can be done to ensure that the baby and I are ok. None of this affects the baby directly, but can cause complications that would affect her and the placenta.
What can we do?
The first thing would be to start taking a baby aspirin once a day.
Next, my Dr has called in a prescription prenatal vitamin that has a special kind of folic acid that I can absorb.
Last, we are to meet with a specialist on Monday to discuss a treatment plan, which may include daily home injections of something called Lovanox (not 100% sure of the spelling).
I have gone to the March of Dimes Website and found good information there. And I have a lot of hope that things will turn out fine. We will arm ourselves with God's word and get as much sound medical advice as we can find.
I am ordered to still take it easy (Look for my upcoming post entitled "Parenting from the Couch" Hee hee), continue bed rest, go back to the Dr if there is any more spotting.
I feel a little bit like I am on a roller coaster. I am not one who enjoys things to be out of my control and if I am being honest, I don't really like medical stuff in general- I can be very squeamish.
Squeamish as in, don't watch ER, don't watch real stories from the ER, don't watch cage fighting, and I won't help co workers apply a bandage to an injured thumb. I get so grossed out. Aaron can tell you for the first part of our married life, once he found out my inability to handle thoughts of the inner workings of my body, he took great pleasure in describing gross things, like veins being crushed behind my knees when I sit or under my feet while I walk, or hooks in my ribs that were causing me pain when I coughed. I would make a face like I had just sucked on a lemon every time, and turn pale- it brought him so much joy! (Sicko!! See, he isn't ALWAYS perfect).
So the plan is to meet with specialist on Monday and go from there.
Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted.
Basically I cannot absorb folic acid which helps prevent blood clotting, and the other deficiency causes blood clotting.
While all of that sounds scary on the surface, it sounds like things can be done to ensure that the baby and I are ok. None of this affects the baby directly, but can cause complications that would affect her and the placenta.
What can we do?
The first thing would be to start taking a baby aspirin once a day.
Next, my Dr has called in a prescription prenatal vitamin that has a special kind of folic acid that I can absorb.
Last, we are to meet with a specialist on Monday to discuss a treatment plan, which may include daily home injections of something called Lovanox (not 100% sure of the spelling).
I have gone to the March of Dimes Website and found good information there. And I have a lot of hope that things will turn out fine. We will arm ourselves with God's word and get as much sound medical advice as we can find.
I am ordered to still take it easy (Look for my upcoming post entitled "Parenting from the Couch" Hee hee), continue bed rest, go back to the Dr if there is any more spotting.
I feel a little bit like I am on a roller coaster. I am not one who enjoys things to be out of my control and if I am being honest, I don't really like medical stuff in general- I can be very squeamish.
Squeamish as in, don't watch ER, don't watch real stories from the ER, don't watch cage fighting, and I won't help co workers apply a bandage to an injured thumb. I get so grossed out. Aaron can tell you for the first part of our married life, once he found out my inability to handle thoughts of the inner workings of my body, he took great pleasure in describing gross things, like veins being crushed behind my knees when I sit or under my feet while I walk, or hooks in my ribs that were causing me pain when I coughed. I would make a face like I had just sucked on a lemon every time, and turn pale- it brought him so much joy! (Sicko!! See, he isn't ALWAYS perfect).
So the plan is to meet with specialist on Monday and go from there.
Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted.
Friday, April 30, 2010
TV Shows this Week
I don't watch a lot of tv.
I really don't. I have like 3 or 4 tv shows that I DVR and I catch up on whenever I can (usually a week or so later) I rarely watch anything live.
But since I have been on bed rest, I have been able to watch the shows the NEXT day- which may not seem like that big of a deal, but when you watch reality TV with results, it is hard not the "hear" the results during the week that it takes me to finally find a square of time to watch, thus taking out the fun of watching.
So here are my thoughts on this weeks programming. (If you have DVR'd any of the below mentioned shows, do not continue to read! SPOILER ALERT)
Glee
I absolutely love this show. It is pure genius as far as I am concerned. The singing, the story lines, the characters. Mr. Schooster and Sue are brilliant in there roles as the "coach" of the glee club and coach of the Cheer-ios cheerleader squad.
This week on Glee we find Mr. Schooster lonely in his home by himself, after his split up from his wife, and Emma's decision to not date him right now. Enter Kristen Chenoweth as April and you have some of the best duets I have ever seen since Sandy and Danny from Grease!! I was on my couch literally thinking that I must have lost my mind to be crying over a tv musical- but it WORKS! It is sooooo good! The emotions are SO raw and real and.......well, I know its fake, but its my favorite show right now.
I also really LOVED Mercedes singing Beautiful, after being beat down by other cheerios and Sue for not being thin enough. Sue's face was priceless!!
I am guessing the season finale will be the birth of Quinn and Puck's baby.
American Idol
I realize how unpopular I am with my support for Shibian Magnus, or Chavonn Magnus, or however you spell her name. But I really liked her. And I was sad to see her go.
I am otherwise pretty tired of this group. Every week, Casey James is the same, Crystal "Mamasox" is great, Big Mike is the same. They just picked mediocre people this time around. I don't like the song choices, none of the songs they choose are great songs!
I find myself shouting at the TV screen in a British accent "You didn't make the song sound current!!"
And I am increasingly tired of the hour long results show. It just isn't necessary.
Lee DeWyze is growing on me though. He seems to improve some each week.
I am begginng to wonder if I am the only one in America that doesn't enjoy Aaron Kelly.
I can close my eyes and his voice isn't all that great to me- and he looks like an unpopular member of an unpopular boyband.
Like Danny in NKOTB- did anyone like him? He looked like a horse to me.
Anyways.....
Sad to see Shibian go- and don't really care about the others.
I may stop watching.
Dancing With the Stars
We are not real big fans of Kate Gosselin in our household. Since the split from Jon, she has just become more of a hypocrit and cry me a river type woman than I have ever seen in my life. I KNOW single momming it is hard, and it has to be SUPER hard with 8 kids. Which is all the more reason to gracefully fade back into the woodwork from where you came. Go be a mom.
But she got kicked off last week, and so I don't even really have to talk about her.
Every season there seems to be a few "Stars" who have a "dancing" background. It is no surprise to me week after week that Popstar Nicole and Ice Skater Evan are GREAT!
What impresses me more are the Niecy Nash's and the Bachelor types. When they do well, that is an actual accomplishment!
I was sad to see the Bachelor go.
Dancing with the stars always, always makes me want to eat salad and broiled fish and spend 20 hours on a treadmill- will I ever have legs like Cheryl or Chelsea? I doubt it, but its easy to dream while on the couch all day.
On that note, I must go wash my hair and get ready to watch last nights Vampire Diaries!
I really don't. I have like 3 or 4 tv shows that I DVR and I catch up on whenever I can (usually a week or so later) I rarely watch anything live.
But since I have been on bed rest, I have been able to watch the shows the NEXT day- which may not seem like that big of a deal, but when you watch reality TV with results, it is hard not the "hear" the results during the week that it takes me to finally find a square of time to watch, thus taking out the fun of watching.
So here are my thoughts on this weeks programming. (If you have DVR'd any of the below mentioned shows, do not continue to read! SPOILER ALERT)
Glee
I absolutely love this show. It is pure genius as far as I am concerned. The singing, the story lines, the characters. Mr. Schooster and Sue are brilliant in there roles as the "coach" of the glee club and coach of the Cheer-ios cheerleader squad.
This week on Glee we find Mr. Schooster lonely in his home by himself, after his split up from his wife, and Emma's decision to not date him right now. Enter Kristen Chenoweth as April and you have some of the best duets I have ever seen since Sandy and Danny from Grease!! I was on my couch literally thinking that I must have lost my mind to be crying over a tv musical- but it WORKS! It is sooooo good! The emotions are SO raw and real and.......well, I know its fake, but its my favorite show right now.
I also really LOVED Mercedes singing Beautiful, after being beat down by other cheerios and Sue for not being thin enough. Sue's face was priceless!!
I am guessing the season finale will be the birth of Quinn and Puck's baby.
American Idol
I realize how unpopular I am with my support for Shibian Magnus, or Chavonn Magnus, or however you spell her name. But I really liked her. And I was sad to see her go.
I am otherwise pretty tired of this group. Every week, Casey James is the same, Crystal "Mamasox" is great, Big Mike is the same. They just picked mediocre people this time around. I don't like the song choices, none of the songs they choose are great songs!
I find myself shouting at the TV screen in a British accent "You didn't make the song sound current!!"
And I am increasingly tired of the hour long results show. It just isn't necessary.
Lee DeWyze is growing on me though. He seems to improve some each week.
I am begginng to wonder if I am the only one in America that doesn't enjoy Aaron Kelly.
I can close my eyes and his voice isn't all that great to me- and he looks like an unpopular member of an unpopular boyband.
Like Danny in NKOTB- did anyone like him? He looked like a horse to me.
Anyways.....
Sad to see Shibian go- and don't really care about the others.
I may stop watching.
Dancing With the Stars
We are not real big fans of Kate Gosselin in our household. Since the split from Jon, she has just become more of a hypocrit and cry me a river type woman than I have ever seen in my life. I KNOW single momming it is hard, and it has to be SUPER hard with 8 kids. Which is all the more reason to gracefully fade back into the woodwork from where you came. Go be a mom.
But she got kicked off last week, and so I don't even really have to talk about her.
Every season there seems to be a few "Stars" who have a "dancing" background. It is no surprise to me week after week that Popstar Nicole and Ice Skater Evan are GREAT!
What impresses me more are the Niecy Nash's and the Bachelor types. When they do well, that is an actual accomplishment!
I was sad to see the Bachelor go.
Dancing with the stars always, always makes me want to eat salad and broiled fish and spend 20 hours on a treadmill- will I ever have legs like Cheryl or Chelsea? I doubt it, but its easy to dream while on the couch all day.
On that note, I must go wash my hair and get ready to watch last nights Vampire Diaries!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Fractured Pinky
I haven't blogged about this yet, for a couple of reasons.
One I like to call a little thing called "post traumatic stress disorder". It has just been too overwhelming to think about.
The other is more along the lines of "sick and tired of medical professionals". Almost to the point that I can't talk about medical professionals with out one of my family members saying something along the lines of "just let it go" or "yes, but lets not get worked up about that again".
So, anyways, I haven't talked about this yet, but I thought it was time. I think I am over it.
April 14th, Zoe and Sid were playing football in the backyard- tossing it back and forth more or less. It was a miracle that they were getting along, to be honest, and I wasn't the least bit surprised when Zoe comes crashing through the backdoor, crying, cradling her left arm.
My daughter can be somewhat dramatic and I think has come in crying in the same fashion for things as little as "her hair hurts" or "Sid won't let me talk".... SO I didn't think too much of it, though the arm/hand cradling was new.
Anyways she came in, already in tears and I couldn't make out what she was saying, and Sid was right behind her apologizing, (which was proof to me right there that he didn't do anything on purpose, cause Sid is a guilty disappearer- if that is a word) and it was a whole ball of messy, sweaty, crying chaos.
So, Zoe and I went into her and Sid's bathroom (really my bathroom too, cause Aaron and I don't share a bathroom- but that is another post). I began running cold water over the now identified injured pinky, and am instantly surprised at the level of swelling and purpleness. It was one of those moments, were you think to yourself "So, THAT is what a broken finger looks like!!"
So, in a calmer than normal moment for me, I tell Aaron we are heading to the local Urgent Care place, and he briefly examines the finger and tries to do a little medical diagnosing while I grab my flip flops and purse.
Our local urgent care facility was pretty busy, and the very sweet receptionist informed me that we might wait about 45 minutes.
I was sweet right back and informed the receptionist that we may have a broken digit, the baby finger at that, and she sweetly informed me that the wait may be 45 minutes, even for that "issue".
So, Zoe and I settled in and turned our attention to the family style movie that was playing.
She was somewhat distracted by the tv, but was obviously still in pain, and I wanted to soothe and comfort her anyway I could, I stroked her hair, rubbed her back, snuggled her in, kissed her cheeks, told her I loved her, and might have tried to gather her up in my lap. And that was all in the first 3 minutes of being there.
I stopped when she leaned far away from me and gave me that look, that more resembled a mortified teenager, than my baby girl with her purple hand in an ice pack and kitchen towel. So, I stayed in my seat and she in hers till we were called back.
They asked a series of questions, mostly the same ones about how it happened over and over again, I assumed to make sure the "football" story held water and they didn't need to call CPS on me. Then the Dr came in, and I can describe him only as sleepy.
Like could barely keep his eyes open sleepy.
He suggested x-rays and after 6 x-rays (3 of each hand- which to me screams "I better get an x-ray of an uninjured hand, cause I don't have any idea WHAT I am looking for") he comes back in, rubbing his sleepy eyes and says "I think it is jammed."
Insert pregnant mama lion here.
"Really, cause it looks BROKEN to me!!" I was annoyed, I am not gonna lie.
He seemed a smidge startled by my tone, but still I think he actually yawned while he said "We will splint it today, and send it off in the morning to be read by a radiologist. Then we will call you once we know."
So, we returned home in a splint, just after 10 pm and Zoe was pretty hyped up having her first ever X-rays and splint. I was worked up, Aaron could tell.
To be honest I don't recall how we got her to sleep that night- I may have blocked that out.
I spent the following day home from work with her, cause it was still in pain and we diligently did R.I.C.E. (rest, ice, compression and elevate). My mom found this information on the internet for all sports related injuries.
I called several times and spoke with another sweet receptionist who told me they had not heard anything from the radiologist yet, but to stay calm and someone would call me.
Fast forward to Friday (the same Friday we headed to Tulsa) and I call AGAIN to the urgent care and speak with sweet receptionist number 3, who informs me they JUST got the results and it is indeed fractured and the radiologist suggests we see an orthopedics.
So I call Zoe's pediatrician who schedules and appointment for us on Monday and refers us to an orthopedics whom we schedule in for Tuesday.
One I like to call a little thing called "post traumatic stress disorder". It has just been too overwhelming to think about.
The other is more along the lines of "sick and tired of medical professionals". Almost to the point that I can't talk about medical professionals with out one of my family members saying something along the lines of "just let it go" or "yes, but lets not get worked up about that again".
So, anyways, I haven't talked about this yet, but I thought it was time. I think I am over it.
April 14th, Zoe and Sid were playing football in the backyard- tossing it back and forth more or less. It was a miracle that they were getting along, to be honest, and I wasn't the least bit surprised when Zoe comes crashing through the backdoor, crying, cradling her left arm.
My daughter can be somewhat dramatic and I think has come in crying in the same fashion for things as little as "her hair hurts" or "Sid won't let me talk".... SO I didn't think too much of it, though the arm/hand cradling was new.
Anyways she came in, already in tears and I couldn't make out what she was saying, and Sid was right behind her apologizing, (which was proof to me right there that he didn't do anything on purpose, cause Sid is a guilty disappearer- if that is a word) and it was a whole ball of messy, sweaty, crying chaos.
So, Zoe and I went into her and Sid's bathroom (really my bathroom too, cause Aaron and I don't share a bathroom- but that is another post). I began running cold water over the now identified injured pinky, and am instantly surprised at the level of swelling and purpleness. It was one of those moments, were you think to yourself "So, THAT is what a broken finger looks like!!"
So, in a calmer than normal moment for me, I tell Aaron we are heading to the local Urgent Care place, and he briefly examines the finger and tries to do a little medical diagnosing while I grab my flip flops and purse.
Our local urgent care facility was pretty busy, and the very sweet receptionist informed me that we might wait about 45 minutes.
I was sweet right back and informed the receptionist that we may have a broken digit, the baby finger at that, and she sweetly informed me that the wait may be 45 minutes, even for that "issue".
So, Zoe and I settled in and turned our attention to the family style movie that was playing.
She was somewhat distracted by the tv, but was obviously still in pain, and I wanted to soothe and comfort her anyway I could, I stroked her hair, rubbed her back, snuggled her in, kissed her cheeks, told her I loved her, and might have tried to gather her up in my lap. And that was all in the first 3 minutes of being there.
I stopped when she leaned far away from me and gave me that look, that more resembled a mortified teenager, than my baby girl with her purple hand in an ice pack and kitchen towel. So, I stayed in my seat and she in hers till we were called back.
They asked a series of questions, mostly the same ones about how it happened over and over again, I assumed to make sure the "football" story held water and they didn't need to call CPS on me. Then the Dr came in, and I can describe him only as sleepy.
Like could barely keep his eyes open sleepy.
He suggested x-rays and after 6 x-rays (3 of each hand- which to me screams "I better get an x-ray of an uninjured hand, cause I don't have any idea WHAT I am looking for") he comes back in, rubbing his sleepy eyes and says "I think it is jammed."
Insert pregnant mama lion here.
"Really, cause it looks BROKEN to me!!" I was annoyed, I am not gonna lie.
He seemed a smidge startled by my tone, but still I think he actually yawned while he said "We will splint it today, and send it off in the morning to be read by a radiologist. Then we will call you once we know."
So, we returned home in a splint, just after 10 pm and Zoe was pretty hyped up having her first ever X-rays and splint. I was worked up, Aaron could tell.
To be honest I don't recall how we got her to sleep that night- I may have blocked that out.
I spent the following day home from work with her, cause it was still in pain and we diligently did R.I.C.E. (rest, ice, compression and elevate). My mom found this information on the internet for all sports related injuries.
I called several times and spoke with another sweet receptionist who told me they had not heard anything from the radiologist yet, but to stay calm and someone would call me.
Fast forward to Friday (the same Friday we headed to Tulsa) and I call AGAIN to the urgent care and speak with sweet receptionist number 3, who informs me they JUST got the results and it is indeed fractured and the radiologist suggests we see an orthopedics.
So I call Zoe's pediatrician who schedules and appointment for us on Monday and refers us to an orthopedics whom we schedule in for Tuesday.
We arrive at the orthopedics 2 hours early (pregnancy and thinking don't often go hand in hand) so we leave and go walk around Target for like an hour and then go eat McDonalds were Zoe discovered CinnaMelts or something equally sugary and gooey.
When we got back to the Dr, we were quickly taken back, and they took more x-rays.
The doctor came back in and said " we are going to need to cast this".
"Oh!" Was my response "A pinky cast?" I thought that was odd. And a little extreme.
"No, an arm cast"....."A full arm cast"
Mine and Zoe's jaws dropped at the same time. The doctor went on to explain that children with hand injuries tend to still play rough, thus knocking the arms and hands around and unless we bind and protect this finger, it could cause further problems in the future.
So, Zoe excitedly picked out a very pretty shade of blue, and they casted her up while I sat there still kind of confused as to why we needed a cast all the way up to the elbow for a fractured pinky.
Zoe stayed excited for about 5 minutes, and the itching started and hot spots and general annoyance and discomfort and sweat. And I was left wishing we would've gotten a second opinion on the whole cast thing.
I put her to sleep that night, rubbing her back till she fell asleep, cause she was so uncomfortable.
After 24 hours of complaining about not being able to wiggle her fingers and general tightness, I called the orthopedics office back and they reassured me that the first 24 hours is often like that, and that it should "loosen on its own" which it has.
Zoe only has 2 weeks left of the cast, and she actually hasn't minded too much. And I am relishing in the extra help she needs from me with showers and getting dressed.
Before we know it- those "3 weeks" that Zoe had a cast will be a memory.
A memory of a time she still needed her mama :)
But we better not encounter any more yawning Dr's in the future. I don't know if I can take it!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Inherited Strength
Last Sunday I woke up and I knew something wasn't right. Just that mama feeling. Just like when I woke up in Tulsa.
I went to the bathroom immediately, and sure enough: more spotting. My heart sank a little as I told Aaron and called the doctor.
And then the next 20 minutes are kind of a blur- I climbed back into bed waiting for the on call nurse to call me back, and Aaron went into daddy mode- something I can only describe as amazing. He was more stoic, more brave, more protective, more loving, more helpful, than he is ALREADY daily. For those of you who know my Aaron- he is a pillar of strength- emotional and physical: he exudes it.
Sid was just a 1st grader when we started dating and he was describing mama's date to grandma and he said "He's like a....warrior."
Ha Ha! That still makes me laugh. Everything about him screams gentle giant- huge hands, shoulders like boulders, kind heart, deep eyes, no nonsense grin.
Anyways enough about my perfect husband. I promise to list his flaws in my next post LOL
The on call nurse called me back and advised we go to the maternity triage center at the hospital I will deliver at. I wasn't surprised by this.
We prayed with the kids and mom rushed over to stay with them and we left.
It was an odd feeling as we drove to the hospital together hand in hand.
Unspoken prayers of the baby being fine (which I still felt kicking)
Fear of placental abrubtion.
Aaron preparing me to not be anxious or surprised if they give me steroids, or an IV.
His last statement surprised me, I knew steroids would be to strengthen the babies lungs quickly, and that is when it hit me, that if I did have placental abrubtion, and the baby was in distress, we would deliver.
NOW!
At 25 weeks.
I put on a brave face to match Aaron's and we prayed, and we talked about baby names, and I thought a million thoughts about car seats and cribs, and phone calls. I was getting really anxious.
Upon arriving to the hospital, the entire staff very nice.
We got into a room, which was nice, and I got into a gown and into bed. I was slightly squeamish about the fact that I have NOT been keeping up with toenail paintings and shaving- something I have now made a priority.
She checked my cervix, more good news- everything was still snug- NO signs of placental abrubtion!! PRAISES!
The doctor came in, and he gave his diagnosis that it was part of the subchorionic hematoma bleeding out, to continue bed rest, plenty of water and follow up with my doctor.
So back home we went and here I sit. Our relief felt almost heavier than the worry on the car ride home. I am SO thankful that our sweet baby girl will be safe in my womb for a while longer.
I went to the bathroom immediately, and sure enough: more spotting. My heart sank a little as I told Aaron and called the doctor.
And then the next 20 minutes are kind of a blur- I climbed back into bed waiting for the on call nurse to call me back, and Aaron went into daddy mode- something I can only describe as amazing. He was more stoic, more brave, more protective, more loving, more helpful, than he is ALREADY daily. For those of you who know my Aaron- he is a pillar of strength- emotional and physical: he exudes it.
Sid was just a 1st grader when we started dating and he was describing mama's date to grandma and he said "He's like a....warrior."
Ha Ha! That still makes me laugh. Everything about him screams gentle giant- huge hands, shoulders like boulders, kind heart, deep eyes, no nonsense grin.
Anyways enough about my perfect husband. I promise to list his flaws in my next post LOL
The on call nurse called me back and advised we go to the maternity triage center at the hospital I will deliver at. I wasn't surprised by this.
We prayed with the kids and mom rushed over to stay with them and we left.
It was an odd feeling as we drove to the hospital together hand in hand.
Unspoken prayers of the baby being fine (which I still felt kicking)
Fear of placental abrubtion.
Aaron preparing me to not be anxious or surprised if they give me steroids, or an IV.
His last statement surprised me, I knew steroids would be to strengthen the babies lungs quickly, and that is when it hit me, that if I did have placental abrubtion, and the baby was in distress, we would deliver.
NOW!
At 25 weeks.
I put on a brave face to match Aaron's and we prayed, and we talked about baby names, and I thought a million thoughts about car seats and cribs, and phone calls. I was getting really anxious.
Upon arriving to the hospital, the entire staff very nice.
We got into a room, which was nice, and I got into a gown and into bed. I was slightly squeamish about the fact that I have NOT been keeping up with toenail paintings and shaving- something I have now made a priority.
But really I just wanted to hear the words that the baby is FINE and I can go back home.
The nurse asked me a million questions, I signed a million forms, permission for a c section, permission for delivery, permission for neo natal care.
Once we had the fetal monitor in place and I could hear her sweet heartbeat and all those swoosh sounds from her kicks, the nurse seemed to like what she was hearing- no distress and "She has a strong heartbeat and strong kicks."She checked my cervix, more good news- everything was still snug- NO signs of placental abrubtion!! PRAISES!
The doctor came in, and he gave his diagnosis that it was part of the subchorionic hematoma bleeding out, to continue bed rest, plenty of water and follow up with my doctor.
So back home we went and here I sit. Our relief felt almost heavier than the worry on the car ride home. I am SO thankful that our sweet baby girl will be safe in my womb for a while longer.
We keep praying.
I go to sleep in prayer and wake up in prayer. Prayer for complete healing, prayer for no complications, prayer for full term, prayer for strength.
When this little girl meets the world, I will tell her that her daddy is a warrior! And she is to0!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tulsa and a Little Rest
Last Friday, after work, mom, the kids and I drove up and met my sister in Tulsa for a fun filled laid back weekend at a hotel. It was more relaxing than I could have ever imagined. Mom and I had fun on the pitch black ride up and when we got to the hotel Sid and Zoe played with there cousins, while mom, Jennifer and I caught up on everything- the funniest part being my sister feeling the baby kick- at first she put her hand square on my rib cage and gasping at how hard the baby was! "Those are my ribs" LOL- so funny!
The next morning we went the aquarium where we did a lot of walking- but probably no more than a normal marathon day of shopping. Aaron and I had a day like that a while back where we bought Zoe like 4 shirts- and she did not like even ONE of them. She is getting harder and harder to shop for. Anyways, much like that shopping trip, I started to feel some pelvic pressure! I did what just about every mom would do, and popped 2 Tylenol and kept up with the kids. The kids had a great time touching the "feel able" exhibits- shrimp, horseshoe crabs, even starfish and a shark egg. Sid wasn't so into the touching exhibits, but he enjoyed feeding the snapping turtles and he marveled several times that Aaron and I could've have gotten married right under the giant shark tank- there were posters everywhere promoting this feature that the aquarium could offer- HILARIOUS!
Back to the hotel, where we played cards and watched various scenes from Shrek, and I was still feeling pressure and just general discomfort.
In the morning, I realized I had spotted some while I was sleeping.
I calmly (I don;t know WHY I was so calm- that is not my normal manner at all) I called my doctors office, told my mom I had bleed a little bit while I was asleep, and took a shower.
Feeling my sweet baby girl kick a few times while I was in the shower did bring tears of joy to my eyes, but I still wasn't panicked.
After my shower we packed up and the nurse called me back, stating that if the bleeding had stopped then I could drive back the 5 hours to Fort Worth, otherwise, I would have to go to a hospital immediately!
In hindsight that must have been why I was being so calm, cause I knew my goal, and that was to get myself and the kids in the car and back to Fort Worth (aka Aaron) as soon as possible. I think I might have even started trying to tell myself I could drive the 5 hours in 3- no problem.
But I didn't drive, I couldn't. Mom drove and did awesome, I am sure she was shaken up, by the heaviness of the precious cargo she was transporting- but she didn't waiver! (GO MOM)
The bleeding stopped, I got home and was in the arms of my loving supportive husband.
Fast forward to my appt on Wednesday- Aaron was with me, We were looking forward to the sonogram a chance to see our tiny baby girl again (who is starting not to feel so tiny). The sono tech did some measuring and took some cute pictures of hands and feet and her mouth was open! I teared up the way I do at every sono gram. She took images of the fibroids that I have had the whole pregnancy.
Then she asked if I had any pain in a certain area- right below the bra line, at the top of my cute little baby bump- I told her I did, that is an area that always feels sore, like it is stretching rapidly.
I assumed it was another fibroid.
We met in the office with Dr. K. She asked some questions and did some measurements and then told us, that the last image was another subchorionic hematoma.
I say another cause I had one earlier in pregnancy, that ended up dissolving on its own. That is the best outcome, that or bleeding it out.
The fear would be a placental abruption, that would be the placenta separating from the uterine wall. Which of course would put the baby at risk with lack of oxygen and lack of blood flow.
Dr. K has put me on bed rest.
This is day 4 of my bed rest and plenty has happened since that Wednesday appointment.
I will have to write it in another post.
I will say this before I go. Resting is hard. Harder than you would think. But the most important thing is that we deliver this beautiful baby girl and not a moment before she is ready.
Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.
The next morning we went the aquarium where we did a lot of walking- but probably no more than a normal marathon day of shopping. Aaron and I had a day like that a while back where we bought Zoe like 4 shirts- and she did not like even ONE of them. She is getting harder and harder to shop for. Anyways, much like that shopping trip, I started to feel some pelvic pressure! I did what just about every mom would do, and popped 2 Tylenol and kept up with the kids. The kids had a great time touching the "feel able" exhibits- shrimp, horseshoe crabs, even starfish and a shark egg. Sid wasn't so into the touching exhibits, but he enjoyed feeding the snapping turtles and he marveled several times that Aaron and I could've have gotten married right under the giant shark tank- there were posters everywhere promoting this feature that the aquarium could offer- HILARIOUS!
Back to the hotel, where we played cards and watched various scenes from Shrek, and I was still feeling pressure and just general discomfort.
In the morning, I realized I had spotted some while I was sleeping.
I calmly (I don;t know WHY I was so calm- that is not my normal manner at all) I called my doctors office, told my mom I had bleed a little bit while I was asleep, and took a shower.
Feeling my sweet baby girl kick a few times while I was in the shower did bring tears of joy to my eyes, but I still wasn't panicked.
After my shower we packed up and the nurse called me back, stating that if the bleeding had stopped then I could drive back the 5 hours to Fort Worth, otherwise, I would have to go to a hospital immediately!
In hindsight that must have been why I was being so calm, cause I knew my goal, and that was to get myself and the kids in the car and back to Fort Worth (aka Aaron) as soon as possible. I think I might have even started trying to tell myself I could drive the 5 hours in 3- no problem.
But I didn't drive, I couldn't. Mom drove and did awesome, I am sure she was shaken up, by the heaviness of the precious cargo she was transporting- but she didn't waiver! (GO MOM)
The bleeding stopped, I got home and was in the arms of my loving supportive husband.
Fast forward to my appt on Wednesday- Aaron was with me, We were looking forward to the sonogram a chance to see our tiny baby girl again (who is starting not to feel so tiny). The sono tech did some measuring and took some cute pictures of hands and feet and her mouth was open! I teared up the way I do at every sono gram. She took images of the fibroids that I have had the whole pregnancy.
Then she asked if I had any pain in a certain area- right below the bra line, at the top of my cute little baby bump- I told her I did, that is an area that always feels sore, like it is stretching rapidly.
I assumed it was another fibroid.
We met in the office with Dr. K. She asked some questions and did some measurements and then told us, that the last image was another subchorionic hematoma.
I say another cause I had one earlier in pregnancy, that ended up dissolving on its own. That is the best outcome, that or bleeding it out.
The fear would be a placental abruption, that would be the placenta separating from the uterine wall. Which of course would put the baby at risk with lack of oxygen and lack of blood flow.
Dr. K has put me on bed rest.
This is day 4 of my bed rest and plenty has happened since that Wednesday appointment.
I will have to write it in another post.
I will say this before I go. Resting is hard. Harder than you would think. But the most important thing is that we deliver this beautiful baby girl and not a moment before she is ready.
Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
That Darn Snooze Button
Did Jesus ever over sleep?
Did he ever over sleep and run late for a miracle, or was he ever too busy snoozing that he had to skip breakfast to make it to the lake to talk to the fisherman? I think not.
Not that over sleeping is a sin- I don't think it is. So, who knows, maybe he did.
It's just not very responsible- which he no doubt was VERY!
I have a HUGE problem with getting up on time- this problem started to be a daily issue a few weeks ago, and I more than likely have made it worse, by obsessing over it.
My morning "wake up" tone on my cell goes off about 5:45, and I have to be up by 6:15- AT THE LATEST. Well, at 5:45, I don't even crack open my eyelids, I turn over, noisily, and thrust my hand in the direction of the noise, usually knocking my cell phone off the bedside table and go right back on sleeping. 5 minutes later, this happens again. By the 3rd of 4th time I am now somewhat awake.
But that is when the bargaining starts within my head and it goes a little something like this.
"You don't have to shave or wash your hair this morning, so you can sleep for 5 more minutes."
Then an odd sort of prayer starts as I drift back to sleep. "Lord, thank you for getting me up this morning, I know I should be up, and when the alarm goes off the next time, I know that you will WILL my feet to swing off the side of the bed, and I will rise......" I fall back asleep, and just begin dreaming when it goes off again.
Beep beep beep!
Snooze.
Pray
5 minutes.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
SNOOZE!
Pray
5 minutes
This, for real, goes on until 6:45- so a full hour of snoozing for just 5 more minutes! Its pathetic! PATHETIC!!
And somewhere in there, my sweet husbands alarm will go off- his is set to some soft rock radio station, and I turn to him, cause he is sleeping right threw it and I shout whisper "Turn off that dang noise!!" Or something equally as classy. Unless its a slow soft song, like Kate Melua's "Just Like Heaven" or Goo Goo Dolls "Better Days" or something that helps with my prayer and my 5 more minutes. But usually its not and Aaron gets the ugly verbiage, from his wife with callywonk hair, eye crusties and a little drool.
Then at 6:45 with out fail, I sit up, look at the clock and SLOWLY it begins to register....."Am I late? Are we going to be late?" My internal talk at this point is more like mad man chatter along the lines of trying to add and subtract segments of time, that don't really matter- all that matters is that it is 6:45 and we MUST be out the door at 7:25 at the latest!!!
So I panic! I throw off the covers, I whisper shout to Aaron that I need HELP!! He stirs, but doesn't get up! I use the restroom, cause I am 6 months pregnant and when I stand up gravity does numbers on my bladder, and bolt down the hall to my sweet sleeping angels, who, much like there mama totally ignore the first 9 times I tell them "You must get up now, sweet angel, we only have X amount of minutes to go."
FINALLY at 7 AM, I am showered, and dressed, but no hair curled no make up on. The kids are yawning and putting on clothes. I am now on full adrenaline and am making lunches, slamming cabinets and shouting down the hall "Sid are you up??!!" "Zoe, don't forget your assignment book!!"
And I am so guilt ridden. I use to not be this way- I use to be fanatical about getting up on time. The kids too. And we are never late mind you- but hectic morning = hectic day and we desreve better!! They deserve better!!
So... The title of my post may seem a little confusing. Is it really the snooze buttons fault? I would say no.
I am on a mission to solve this dilemma. A miracle type mission.
It is my goal for the rest of the week to get up on time.
Maybe if I want to get up at 6 AM, I should set my alarm for 6 AM, and set the phone across the room, and set the coffee pot up next to my bed, so all I have to do is reach over and click the button and that wonderful Starbucks aroma will whip me out of any coma.
I don't know if it will- I will let you know how it turns out.
Did he ever over sleep and run late for a miracle, or was he ever too busy snoozing that he had to skip breakfast to make it to the lake to talk to the fisherman? I think not.
Not that over sleeping is a sin- I don't think it is. So, who knows, maybe he did.
It's just not very responsible- which he no doubt was VERY!
I have a HUGE problem with getting up on time- this problem started to be a daily issue a few weeks ago, and I more than likely have made it worse, by obsessing over it.
My morning "wake up" tone on my cell goes off about 5:45, and I have to be up by 6:15- AT THE LATEST. Well, at 5:45, I don't even crack open my eyelids, I turn over, noisily, and thrust my hand in the direction of the noise, usually knocking my cell phone off the bedside table and go right back on sleeping. 5 minutes later, this happens again. By the 3rd of 4th time I am now somewhat awake.
But that is when the bargaining starts within my head and it goes a little something like this.
"You don't have to shave or wash your hair this morning, so you can sleep for 5 more minutes."
Then an odd sort of prayer starts as I drift back to sleep. "Lord, thank you for getting me up this morning, I know I should be up, and when the alarm goes off the next time, I know that you will WILL my feet to swing off the side of the bed, and I will rise......" I fall back asleep, and just begin dreaming when it goes off again.
Beep beep beep!
Snooze.
Pray
5 minutes.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
SNOOZE!
Pray
5 minutes
This, for real, goes on until 6:45- so a full hour of snoozing for just 5 more minutes! Its pathetic! PATHETIC!!
And somewhere in there, my sweet husbands alarm will go off- his is set to some soft rock radio station, and I turn to him, cause he is sleeping right threw it and I shout whisper "Turn off that dang noise!!" Or something equally as classy. Unless its a slow soft song, like Kate Melua's "Just Like Heaven" or Goo Goo Dolls "Better Days" or something that helps with my prayer and my 5 more minutes. But usually its not and Aaron gets the ugly verbiage, from his wife with callywonk hair, eye crusties and a little drool.
Then at 6:45 with out fail, I sit up, look at the clock and SLOWLY it begins to register....."Am I late? Are we going to be late?" My internal talk at this point is more like mad man chatter along the lines of trying to add and subtract segments of time, that don't really matter- all that matters is that it is 6:45 and we MUST be out the door at 7:25 at the latest!!!
So I panic! I throw off the covers, I whisper shout to Aaron that I need HELP!! He stirs, but doesn't get up! I use the restroom, cause I am 6 months pregnant and when I stand up gravity does numbers on my bladder, and bolt down the hall to my sweet sleeping angels, who, much like there mama totally ignore the first 9 times I tell them "You must get up now, sweet angel, we only have X amount of minutes to go."
FINALLY at 7 AM, I am showered, and dressed, but no hair curled no make up on. The kids are yawning and putting on clothes. I am now on full adrenaline and am making lunches, slamming cabinets and shouting down the hall "Sid are you up??!!" "Zoe, don't forget your assignment book!!"
And I am so guilt ridden. I use to not be this way- I use to be fanatical about getting up on time. The kids too. And we are never late mind you- but hectic morning = hectic day and we desreve better!! They deserve better!!
So... The title of my post may seem a little confusing. Is it really the snooze buttons fault? I would say no.
I am on a mission to solve this dilemma. A miracle type mission.
It is my goal for the rest of the week to get up on time.
Maybe if I want to get up at 6 AM, I should set my alarm for 6 AM, and set the phone across the room, and set the coffee pot up next to my bed, so all I have to do is reach over and click the button and that wonderful Starbucks aroma will whip me out of any coma.
I don't know if it will- I will let you know how it turns out.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Longest Week Ever
I have never been so happy for a Saturday in my life. Last week was a long, tiring week for me. My days at work, at home, and everything in between seemed to fall apart right before my eyes. Talk about Murphy's Law.
Between important meetings at work, Aaron's test at school, Zoe TAKS test at school and new maternity clothes being torn and unwearable, getting thorough this week was probably as close as I have come in years to a catastrophe.
Even the normal joy that comes with Friday's was tainted with disaster.
I even dreamed of conflict of the oddest kind.
Long dream short, I was cleaning the house of a very wealthy man, and decided to steal some bracelet's and then bolt before the wife caught me. Of course she did catch me and she ripped those charmed things right out of my yellow plastic gloves I had been wearing to clean her kitchen. I have always had crazy dreams, but these pregnancy dreams have taken the cake.
Only when I woke up today and realized the sun was just rising, the family was still sleeping and I had NOTHING to do except get a cup of coffee, make a bowl of cereal and start my laundry, did I feel the tension leave my shoulders.
Ahh Saturday. So glad you are here for me :)
I just have a few things on my to do list this weekend. At one o'clock today, the kids and mom and I are going to volunteer at the Keller Community Storehouse. Its kind of like the goodwill of Keller. We will be helping them stock the store as far as I know, I am really glad to get the kids involved in some sort of charity project- even though we won't be directly working with the poor or homeless.
I keep hoping to do some sort of soup kitchen every winter. But it never happens.
I have always wanted to take them to http://www.churchontheslab.com/ and will probably do so, one of these weekends. Christy Stitch from church invites me out once a month or so, and I just need to put it on the calender and DO IT! I just feel like my weekends are slipping away between the now and when the baby gets here and I have got projects galore.
That probably makes me sound pretty selfish, but if you saw how desperate I am every week for an extra 5 minutes to do ANYTHING you would understand.
Right now I have a mowing husband, sheets in the wash and dryer, a sleeping son and a daughter who is out shopping with her grandma Bonnie. I am going to take advantage of these few moments alone and make me a big plate of eggs.
Y'all have a great weekend!
Between important meetings at work, Aaron's test at school, Zoe TAKS test at school and new maternity clothes being torn and unwearable, getting thorough this week was probably as close as I have come in years to a catastrophe.
Even the normal joy that comes with Friday's was tainted with disaster.
I even dreamed of conflict of the oddest kind.
Long dream short, I was cleaning the house of a very wealthy man, and decided to steal some bracelet's and then bolt before the wife caught me. Of course she did catch me and she ripped those charmed things right out of my yellow plastic gloves I had been wearing to clean her kitchen. I have always had crazy dreams, but these pregnancy dreams have taken the cake.
Only when I woke up today and realized the sun was just rising, the family was still sleeping and I had NOTHING to do except get a cup of coffee, make a bowl of cereal and start my laundry, did I feel the tension leave my shoulders.
Ahh Saturday. So glad you are here for me :)
I just have a few things on my to do list this weekend. At one o'clock today, the kids and mom and I are going to volunteer at the Keller Community Storehouse. Its kind of like the goodwill of Keller. We will be helping them stock the store as far as I know, I am really glad to get the kids involved in some sort of charity project- even though we won't be directly working with the poor or homeless.
I keep hoping to do some sort of soup kitchen every winter. But it never happens.
I have always wanted to take them to http://www.churchontheslab.com/ and will probably do so, one of these weekends. Christy Stitch from church invites me out once a month or so, and I just need to put it on the calender and DO IT! I just feel like my weekends are slipping away between the now and when the baby gets here and I have got projects galore.
That probably makes me sound pretty selfish, but if you saw how desperate I am every week for an extra 5 minutes to do ANYTHING you would understand.
Right now I have a mowing husband, sheets in the wash and dryer, a sleeping son and a daughter who is out shopping with her grandma Bonnie. I am going to take advantage of these few moments alone and make me a big plate of eggs.
Y'all have a great weekend!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Our Zoe
So, I promised not to get all weepy on you while writing this post.
Zoe was born in the early morning, about a week sooner than we expected her. I think her due date was April 16th, but she had other plans.
My labor was fast and intense. I woke up about 3 in the morning with some strong contractions and she was born at 6:05. I think we arrived at the hospital at 6 AM. I am not kidding. I am really glad we made it to the hospital! If I remember correctly they didn't even start an IV till after she was born.
She greeted the world with a loud cry and eyes as big as the moon staring all around. Instantly I thought she was beautiful!! I was so glad to hear her cry at first- but then I worried.
Her temperature dropped a little during the weighing and cleaning up, so they laid her under a heat lamp away from me. She cried and cried and cried some more. Finally I asked them to let me hold her, I wrapped her in a blanket, and fed her and she was the happiest baby!
Little tiny hands and feet, cute squishy cheeks, soft hair all over her head and the tiniest little mouth. All the nurses said she had a great set of lungs and the biggest prettiest eyes they had ever seen.
And believe me she still does.
Happy 11th Birthday Sweet Angel!
Zoe was born in the early morning, about a week sooner than we expected her. I think her due date was April 16th, but she had other plans.
My labor was fast and intense. I woke up about 3 in the morning with some strong contractions and she was born at 6:05. I think we arrived at the hospital at 6 AM. I am not kidding. I am really glad we made it to the hospital! If I remember correctly they didn't even start an IV till after she was born.
She greeted the world with a loud cry and eyes as big as the moon staring all around. Instantly I thought she was beautiful!! I was so glad to hear her cry at first- but then I worried.
Her temperature dropped a little during the weighing and cleaning up, so they laid her under a heat lamp away from me. She cried and cried and cried some more. Finally I asked them to let me hold her, I wrapped her in a blanket, and fed her and she was the happiest baby!
Little tiny hands and feet, cute squishy cheeks, soft hair all over her head and the tiniest little mouth. All the nurses said she had a great set of lungs and the biggest prettiest eyes they had ever seen.
And believe me she still does.
Happy 11th Birthday Sweet Angel!
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Good Reads and a Happy Belly
Zoe's birthday is tomorrow, and I can't write about it. I am emotional, more emotional than necessary about this birthday.
I also got really emotional when I thought about Jennifer earlier today and how she has been living in a different state, so I won't be writing about that either.
Instead I will bore you with a few things that don't really have anything to do with anything emotional like baby girls getting older or missing my sister. Nothing really important.
I have been recently introduced to a new line of books called "Skippyjon Jones" about a siamese cat that thinks he is a Chihuahua. HILARIOUS!! It is a picture book, not a chapter book, but my kids still think it is really funny! Skippyjon Jones is a very imaginative little cat with a mexican accent! Makes my heart smile. There is a whole series! Pick it up for your kids at the library- you won't be sorry.
Another thing that has been making me blissfully happy lately is my Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm. It is like rubbing honey all over my skin- but when it absorbs, its not sticky like honey. My skin is soft and silky and enriched. And the little pains that come from stretching skin and ligaments disappear. Like soaking tired feet in a hot bath!! That smells like honey :) Pure heaven!
I'll try not to be too emotional tomorrow as I recount the birth of my sweet baby daughter 11 years ago.
Truly feels like it was yesterday.
For now I will go read a book to those 2 angels of mine and go slather on some belly balm. :)
I also got really emotional when I thought about Jennifer earlier today and how she has been living in a different state, so I won't be writing about that either.
Instead I will bore you with a few things that don't really have anything to do with anything emotional like baby girls getting older or missing my sister. Nothing really important.
I have been recently introduced to a new line of books called "Skippyjon Jones" about a siamese cat that thinks he is a Chihuahua. HILARIOUS!! It is a picture book, not a chapter book, but my kids still think it is really funny! Skippyjon Jones is a very imaginative little cat with a mexican accent! Makes my heart smile. There is a whole series! Pick it up for your kids at the library- you won't be sorry.
Another thing that has been making me blissfully happy lately is my Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm. It is like rubbing honey all over my skin- but when it absorbs, its not sticky like honey. My skin is soft and silky and enriched. And the little pains that come from stretching skin and ligaments disappear. Like soaking tired feet in a hot bath!! That smells like honey :) Pure heaven!
I'll try not to be too emotional tomorrow as I recount the birth of my sweet baby daughter 11 years ago.
Truly feels like it was yesterday.
For now I will go read a book to those 2 angels of mine and go slather on some belly balm. :)
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Spring Cleaning on My Mind
It feels good to write again. I always want to write- I just don't always have the time, or something to say. Not that that has ever stopped me before. ;)
I don't feel like I have enough of a following to really update anyone on anything on this blog- I just write for fun and a few friends read it. But those few know everything about me. So for "journaling purposes" I will do a little update on what is going on in our lives.
Aaron is going to graduate from UNT in May and he is neck deep in homework, papers and projects. He also works full time at Vought Air Craft, plays hockey and is the best dad and husband the world has ever seen. I am not just saying that- he really is. (Hi dear)
He is also searching for a job, applying and interviewing for after he graduates. We are praying for something local, but he is applying all over.
Sid is a 6th grader and 12 years old. He is going out for football next year- in middle school. He is at church every Wednesday and Sunday which makes my heart soar! He really wants to own the XBOX 360 game "Left for Dead 2"- but mama said no- for now. He's my little man, and my favorite boy in the whole world.
Zoe is in 5th grade, turning 11 this week, and just completed her Math TAKS today- she is extremely smart and I am sure she will have done fine. She is turning into quite an independent sweet girl- lil' girl with a purpose- and I love her SO much.
I am 23 weeks pregnant with another little girl :) We couldn't be happier. Which brings me to the title of this post. I have spring cleaning on my mind big time. Could it be early nesting? I want things to be so tidy and clutter free for the arrival of this sweet bundle and what better time to fling and clean than spring.
You can find me most nights and weekends doing as much tidying and cleaning I can before falling into a big prego heap on the couch or bed. But I have yet to find the time to tackle the BIG cleaning/organizing projects.
For example, my bedroom is SCARY! Not scary like an episode of hoarders mind you- but scary as in, too much clutter- too much stuff I don't need, and we MUST reconfigure the whole arraignment of our room to make room for that sweet angel- cause she will be living in our room. So we need space for all those wonderful, tiny, yet space consuming, things that come with a baby.
And my kitchen cupboards- well lets just say I don't think a 5 month pregnant mama should be on her hands in knees while making dinner strecthing to the very back of the lowest cabinet in search of her spaghetti pot, or pulling her hair out trying to find a matching top to a bottom tupperware. I am DESPERATE for cabinet space in my kithcen. Did I mention I don't even have a pantry? Yikes- my kithcen is an organizational hazard!!
I read Kelly's blog at http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ and she just recently did a post on organization, and there are tons of super yummy links to other blogs with GREAT tips!
So thats what is on my mind! Hopefully, I will open the windows this weekend and put on the gloves and get to cleaning!!
I'll let you know!
I don't feel like I have enough of a following to really update anyone on anything on this blog- I just write for fun and a few friends read it. But those few know everything about me. So for "journaling purposes" I will do a little update on what is going on in our lives.
Aaron is going to graduate from UNT in May and he is neck deep in homework, papers and projects. He also works full time at Vought Air Craft, plays hockey and is the best dad and husband the world has ever seen. I am not just saying that- he really is. (Hi dear)
He is also searching for a job, applying and interviewing for after he graduates. We are praying for something local, but he is applying all over.
Sid is a 6th grader and 12 years old. He is going out for football next year- in middle school. He is at church every Wednesday and Sunday which makes my heart soar! He really wants to own the XBOX 360 game "Left for Dead 2"- but mama said no- for now. He's my little man, and my favorite boy in the whole world.
Zoe is in 5th grade, turning 11 this week, and just completed her Math TAKS today- she is extremely smart and I am sure she will have done fine. She is turning into quite an independent sweet girl- lil' girl with a purpose- and I love her SO much.
I am 23 weeks pregnant with another little girl :) We couldn't be happier. Which brings me to the title of this post. I have spring cleaning on my mind big time. Could it be early nesting? I want things to be so tidy and clutter free for the arrival of this sweet bundle and what better time to fling and clean than spring.
You can find me most nights and weekends doing as much tidying and cleaning I can before falling into a big prego heap on the couch or bed. But I have yet to find the time to tackle the BIG cleaning/organizing projects.
For example, my bedroom is SCARY! Not scary like an episode of hoarders mind you- but scary as in, too much clutter- too much stuff I don't need, and we MUST reconfigure the whole arraignment of our room to make room for that sweet angel- cause she will be living in our room. So we need space for all those wonderful, tiny, yet space consuming, things that come with a baby.
And my kitchen cupboards- well lets just say I don't think a 5 month pregnant mama should be on her hands in knees while making dinner strecthing to the very back of the lowest cabinet in search of her spaghetti pot, or pulling her hair out trying to find a matching top to a bottom tupperware. I am DESPERATE for cabinet space in my kithcen. Did I mention I don't even have a pantry? Yikes- my kithcen is an organizational hazard!!
I read Kelly's blog at http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ and she just recently did a post on organization, and there are tons of super yummy links to other blogs with GREAT tips!
So thats what is on my mind! Hopefully, I will open the windows this weekend and put on the gloves and get to cleaning!!
I'll let you know!
Sunday, December 06, 2009
My Baby Boy and A Turkey Gram
I have to tell you about the Turkey Gram!!
During the glorious week that kids get off of school for Thanksgiving, the kids and I found ourselves piled up in my bed to settle in for a movie (this seems to happen a lot this time of year) (For one it gets dark sooner so what else is there to do, and for two I seem to be constantly cold this time of year, so what better solution than to climb into bed at 7 PM with 2 of the warmest bodies in the world) (Why is that kids are always so warm and toasty anyway- it must be the lack of fat on their bodies and youthful circulatory systems) (Just a guess) ANYWAYS! We climbed into bed to watch "Smoky Mountain Christmas", which is a Dolly Parton movie form the 80's that has become a Christmas favorite in our house. I guess we really are "country at heart" . It s the only Christmas movie I have ever seen that includes a log cabin in the mountains and abandoned orphans and the skinning of a rabbit and a witch and a very un polictically correct sheriff! Not to mention a mysterious Mountain man, and a sleigh chase and a late night court hearing with the judge played by John Ritter! It is backwoods Christmas Goodness! And we love it!
Anyways, Zoe mentions, while we are lying in bed watching Dolly Parton interact with the paparazzi fellow who has just broken into her home, the Sid sent her a Turkey Gram at school! I stropped short, and looked at Sid "You did?" Seriously surprised, cause I didn't recall anyone saying anything about this to me before.
"Yea." He shrugged. No big deal.
"Well, what's a turkey gram?" I ask.
"It's a piece of paper the has a sucker and it says to Zoe from Sid and it says Thank you for being part of my Thanksgiving. And it comes in your class when all the other kids are looking at you thinking how they wish they got a Turkey gram, cause it comes in your class!" Zoe went on and on, I could tell she was the subject of envy big time, to receive a "delivery" of a "turkey gram" with a sucker in the middle of class. (from a cute 6th grade boy- no less.)
As Sid went on to explain his side of the story (cause now I have paused the movie- I was in AWE) MY son. My sweet first born took it upon himself to go to the office or where ever and request a Turkey Gram for his sister.And write on it! And pay for it! My son- who gets so annoyed with his sister, and fights with her over shows to watch and corrects her grammar and rolls his eyes when she acts a little goofy (cause he is big 6th grader now) He did all of this with out telling me for praise, or asking me for the money!!! He just thought of his sister! I was so touched!! Maybe I am just too sentimental, but this was like as close to a Christmas Miracle as we were gonna get! I love my children and apparently they love each other. This mama was happy!
Then Sid impressed me further by explaining the economic error of some of his classmates. He shook his head, exasperated, as he explained how several classmates sent 5 or even 10 Turkey Grams to themselves!! "Do you know how many suckers you can get at the store for that much money- or just go get a hair cut, if you wanna sucker so bad!"
I smiled with prise and agreed. What a grown up little boy. He is just like Aaron. Thrifty AND Thoughtful!! I was so proud of him and it lasted for a long time, until bed time when he literally put his sister out of the bathroom, and locked the door so he could brush his teeth! Well, he is only 11 after all!
During the glorious week that kids get off of school for Thanksgiving, the kids and I found ourselves piled up in my bed to settle in for a movie (this seems to happen a lot this time of year) (For one it gets dark sooner so what else is there to do, and for two I seem to be constantly cold this time of year, so what better solution than to climb into bed at 7 PM with 2 of the warmest bodies in the world) (Why is that kids are always so warm and toasty anyway- it must be the lack of fat on their bodies and youthful circulatory systems) (Just a guess) ANYWAYS! We climbed into bed to watch "Smoky Mountain Christmas", which is a Dolly Parton movie form the 80's that has become a Christmas favorite in our house. I guess we really are "country at heart" . It s the only Christmas movie I have ever seen that includes a log cabin in the mountains and abandoned orphans and the skinning of a rabbit and a witch and a very un polictically correct sheriff! Not to mention a mysterious Mountain man, and a sleigh chase and a late night court hearing with the judge played by John Ritter! It is backwoods Christmas Goodness! And we love it!
Anyways, Zoe mentions, while we are lying in bed watching Dolly Parton interact with the paparazzi fellow who has just broken into her home, the Sid sent her a Turkey Gram at school! I stropped short, and looked at Sid "You did?" Seriously surprised, cause I didn't recall anyone saying anything about this to me before.
"Yea." He shrugged. No big deal.
"Well, what's a turkey gram?" I ask.
"It's a piece of paper the has a sucker and it says to Zoe from Sid and it says Thank you for being part of my Thanksgiving. And it comes in your class when all the other kids are looking at you thinking how they wish they got a Turkey gram, cause it comes in your class!" Zoe went on and on, I could tell she was the subject of envy big time, to receive a "delivery" of a "turkey gram" with a sucker in the middle of class. (from a cute 6th grade boy- no less.)
As Sid went on to explain his side of the story (cause now I have paused the movie- I was in AWE) MY son. My sweet first born took it upon himself to go to the office or where ever and request a Turkey Gram for his sister.And write on it! And pay for it! My son- who gets so annoyed with his sister, and fights with her over shows to watch and corrects her grammar and rolls his eyes when she acts a little goofy (cause he is big 6th grader now) He did all of this with out telling me for praise, or asking me for the money!!! He just thought of his sister! I was so touched!! Maybe I am just too sentimental, but this was like as close to a Christmas Miracle as we were gonna get! I love my children and apparently they love each other. This mama was happy!
Then Sid impressed me further by explaining the economic error of some of his classmates. He shook his head, exasperated, as he explained how several classmates sent 5 or even 10 Turkey Grams to themselves!! "Do you know how many suckers you can get at the store for that much money- or just go get a hair cut, if you wanna sucker so bad!"
I smiled with prise and agreed. What a grown up little boy. He is just like Aaron. Thrifty AND Thoughtful!! I was so proud of him and it lasted for a long time, until bed time when he literally put his sister out of the bathroom, and locked the door so he could brush his teeth! Well, he is only 11 after all!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Laughter in a cup
I am still full from Thanksgiving! But not just my stomach, my heart too!
Our family had a few moments yesterday that I will absolutely cherish forever.
Yesterday morning as we prepared for everyone to come over to our house and eat, Zoe and I made my grandma's Hot Apple Cider recipe. I let Zoe do it all!! She carefully poured the apple cider, measured the brown sugar and added the cheesecloth full of spices. It simmered for 2 hours before everybody got there. Then after a really bountiful lunch, Zoe served the cider to my mom and dad and Sid (I think others were skeptical to try it- or maybe it was the low 70 degree weather outside that turns you off to the idea of HOT anything).
My mom and Dad gushed on and on about how wonderful it was! Mom said "Zoe, you got this recipe just right!! This is great!" Dad exclaimed how much he was enjoying the cider himself. Sid said he liked it too, but then quickly stepped away from the table, leaving his forgotten cider.
Zoe, was curious! Was the cider AMAZING? Was she an apple cider genius? She poured herself a cup- and somehow I wasn't around to see her try it, to see if she liked it or not.
Well, after a walk around the block and a jaunt to the park, it was time to take the kids over to the Harwell's for the afternoon Thanksgiving with that side of the family. It hit me hard this year. I don't know weather it was the triptophane from the turkey, or just general "womenness" (Aaron would probably suggest the latter), but once I got home, and the house was completely empty, I lost it. Poor Aaron sat trying to enjoy his Cowboys game, and I sat next to him boohooing- saying things like "empty"....."useless" and I believe at some point I declared that I was "another year older and really out of shape!!!!" Talk about drama!! HOW DOES AARON HANDLE ME!! Good gracious I will never know!!
So, after declaring that I would only sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself for 5 more minutes, I made myself get up and go clean the kitchen. When I went in, a nearly fell over when I saw Zoe's cup of cider with a big sticky note stuck to it that said (in her precise writing): EWWWW!
I laughed so hard, and maybe cried a little more. Had everyone just went on and on about how good it was to be sweet? I had to try it myself. I poured a cup of the still steaming cider to sip while I tidied the kitchen. I took a swallow and you know what- it was really good. A little tart- maybe a little strong- but it tickled my tongue and the flavors were exotic. I had to laugh again! I don't know if it was supposed to taste like that- but whatever Zoe had done was great!!
When we went to pick the kids up at 8:30, (I was so ecstatic to get them back) we hadn't been in the car very long when I told Zoe. "I tried your cider while you were gone!! And it made me laugh!!!! It was so good! Zoe you are a cider marvel!" Her smile grew so big and she reached up to the front seat and kissed me on the cheek declaring she could smell it on my face!!
Aaron looked at me in that moment and said "you are such a good mama!" I don't know why he said that. But he is always saying things like that just when I need them.
Later on, after the kids had a bath and we settled in my bed to watch "What about Bob?" (Bill Murray is hysterical no matter how old you are) Zoe and I got onto the topic of 'acting'. We had just seen a commercial of a woman who was touching something really soft, but her face looked so bored, Zoe and I weren't buying it. Sid asked if we could do better. We both declared that we good, and I went first, feeling the blanket I have over my bedspread and smiling in a way that I imagined showed such gleeful, euphoricness!! Sid shrugged like "Whatever, the lady on the tv did better". Zoe sat thoughtful for a minute and then leaned against me all cozy. "Come to Zoe's house for Zoe's cider! It's laughter in a cup!" Sid and I dies laughing at her expression- and then without missing a beat she said "Cause if your not shopping with us, you're burning money!"
We laughed even harder- I can't remember what commercial that is from- but its a line we have heard on TV over and over again! And she really thought we wouldn't remember this and think she came up with her own little jingle!
What a reminder this time of year about how special families are.
They love your cider, even when you don't.
The let you cry for no apparent reason, and just sit with you.
They compliment you just when you need it most.
And the laughter never ends!
Our family had a few moments yesterday that I will absolutely cherish forever.
Yesterday morning as we prepared for everyone to come over to our house and eat, Zoe and I made my grandma's Hot Apple Cider recipe. I let Zoe do it all!! She carefully poured the apple cider, measured the brown sugar and added the cheesecloth full of spices. It simmered for 2 hours before everybody got there. Then after a really bountiful lunch, Zoe served the cider to my mom and dad and Sid (I think others were skeptical to try it- or maybe it was the low 70 degree weather outside that turns you off to the idea of HOT anything).
My mom and Dad gushed on and on about how wonderful it was! Mom said "Zoe, you got this recipe just right!! This is great!" Dad exclaimed how much he was enjoying the cider himself. Sid said he liked it too, but then quickly stepped away from the table, leaving his forgotten cider.
Zoe, was curious! Was the cider AMAZING? Was she an apple cider genius? She poured herself a cup- and somehow I wasn't around to see her try it, to see if she liked it or not.
Well, after a walk around the block and a jaunt to the park, it was time to take the kids over to the Harwell's for the afternoon Thanksgiving with that side of the family. It hit me hard this year. I don't know weather it was the triptophane from the turkey, or just general "womenness" (Aaron would probably suggest the latter), but once I got home, and the house was completely empty, I lost it. Poor Aaron sat trying to enjoy his Cowboys game, and I sat next to him boohooing- saying things like "empty"....."useless" and I believe at some point I declared that I was "another year older and really out of shape!!!!" Talk about drama!! HOW DOES AARON HANDLE ME!! Good gracious I will never know!!
So, after declaring that I would only sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself for 5 more minutes, I made myself get up and go clean the kitchen. When I went in, a nearly fell over when I saw Zoe's cup of cider with a big sticky note stuck to it that said (in her precise writing): EWWWW!
I laughed so hard, and maybe cried a little more. Had everyone just went on and on about how good it was to be sweet? I had to try it myself. I poured a cup of the still steaming cider to sip while I tidied the kitchen. I took a swallow and you know what- it was really good. A little tart- maybe a little strong- but it tickled my tongue and the flavors were exotic. I had to laugh again! I don't know if it was supposed to taste like that- but whatever Zoe had done was great!!
When we went to pick the kids up at 8:30, (I was so ecstatic to get them back) we hadn't been in the car very long when I told Zoe. "I tried your cider while you were gone!! And it made me laugh!!!! It was so good! Zoe you are a cider marvel!" Her smile grew so big and she reached up to the front seat and kissed me on the cheek declaring she could smell it on my face!!
Aaron looked at me in that moment and said "you are such a good mama!" I don't know why he said that. But he is always saying things like that just when I need them.
Later on, after the kids had a bath and we settled in my bed to watch "What about Bob?" (Bill Murray is hysterical no matter how old you are) Zoe and I got onto the topic of 'acting'. We had just seen a commercial of a woman who was touching something really soft, but her face looked so bored, Zoe and I weren't buying it. Sid asked if we could do better. We both declared that we good, and I went first, feeling the blanket I have over my bedspread and smiling in a way that I imagined showed such gleeful, euphoricness!! Sid shrugged like "Whatever, the lady on the tv did better". Zoe sat thoughtful for a minute and then leaned against me all cozy. "Come to Zoe's house for Zoe's cider! It's laughter in a cup!" Sid and I dies laughing at her expression- and then without missing a beat she said "Cause if your not shopping with us, you're burning money!"
We laughed even harder- I can't remember what commercial that is from- but its a line we have heard on TV over and over again! And she really thought we wouldn't remember this and think she came up with her own little jingle!
What a reminder this time of year about how special families are.
They love your cider, even when you don't.
The let you cry for no apparent reason, and just sit with you.
They compliment you just when you need it most.
And the laughter never ends!
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